


Obligatory Cuddling for Warmth Fic

by CertifiedPissWizard



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23016001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CertifiedPissWizard/pseuds/CertifiedPissWizard
Summary: Sometimes the power is out, you cuddle for warmth, and you walk away dating three whole entire people. You know?
Relationships: Lyfrassir Edda/Ivy Alexandria, Lyfrassir Edda/Ivy Alexandria/Marius von Raum/Raphaella la Cognizi, Lyfrassir Edda/Marius von Raum, Lyfrassir Edda/Raphaella la Cognizi
Comments: 14
Kudos: 189
Collections: Stowaways' Shenanigans





	Obligatory Cuddling for Warmth Fic

“Alright. I have questions relating to a case. No singing. This means you, von Raum. “

“Oh, but Inspector Lyf-“ Lyf could already feel the migraine forming. Just what they fucking need. “That would just be so boring.” Lyf will not be a child and snap that von Raum’s face is so boring. Lyf will not be a child and do that. They are a grown ass Inspector Second Class who doesn’t resort to schoolyard insults to convey disdain. They just refer to people by their last names to get that point across.

“Too bad. There’s been a string of crimes similar to what you and your colleagues were arrested for and,” Lyf has the best rapport with the prisoners which means it falls to them to get the answers, “we were wondering. Are there others?” They gesture, primarily because there is no easy and non-absurd way to ask if there are, in fact, more immortal space pirates that just the three you have in prison.

“There are approximately 17.89 billion other people in the Yggdrasil system,” Alexandria chimes in, being incredibly unhelpful.

“Not what I meant, Alexandria.” They regret so much. They just regret all the things. “Let me word it again. Are there other unaging space pirates with access to incredibly advanced technology?” There, an incredibly high-quality sentence that they wish that they’d never have to utter again. They should have become a doctor. Their fathers wanted them to become a doctor. But no, they had to turn their train phase into a career. If they’d become a doctor they wouldn’t have to deal with _these_ people, because they would be busy docting and doing medicine and other things along those lines.

“Can you elaborate?” la Cognizi decides to join in on things. She used to be tolerable. Apparently, however, she has decided to change her status from tolerable to completely insufferable on Lyf’s ranking list of people. There is no way that things could become more annoying today. It’s physically impossible.

"Oh, but Raphaella, the Inspector was very clear in his wording.” Could it be? von Raum not tormenting Lyf for once? Mercy from a cold uncaring universe? “Unfortunately, Inspector Lyf, I can’t help you, because the best way to answer your question with song, and you did say we shouldn’t do any singing.” No. von Raum, apparently, is incapable of not being like that 36/5. Alas.

“von Raum.” They fit as much disdain as they can into his name. Given how von Raum immediately picks up, it, quite obviously, didn’t work.

“Is that a yes to the singing, Inspector?” Lyf glowers and ponders how much trouble they’d get in if they just walked out. They’d probably get in a lot of trouble, but, on the other far more important hand, they don’t want to listen to any singing. So they turn, and they start walking to the door. “Oh, but Inspector Lyf don’t leave just like that.” Then. The lights go out and the emergency lights go on. Lyf finds themselves barely repressing a long stream of swearwords. They’re stuck. In a prison cell. With their three least favorite people in the world. They decide to try the door anyways, even though they know that the doors aren’t on the generators system, because that only powers emergency lights and machines in the medical bay. All of which, is an unnecessarily complicated way of saying, that without power the doors will not open.

The doors, of course, given the lack of power directed at them that wasn’t Lyf’s willpower, remain firmly closed. On the plus side, Lyf realizes, there are no cameras recording things, given that the cameras are also not attached to the emergency generator system, which means that they can get away with swearing. “Fuck. Fucking fuck from fucksville mcfuckland.” They were wrong when they so optimistically thought mere minutes earlier that the day could not possibly get more annoying. They were so terribly wrong.

“Are you alright Inspector?” la Cognizi. They glance at her. She seems somewhat concerned for them. “I don’t believe I’ve ever heard you swear before.” Lyf hates this they hate this they hate this so hard.

“I’m stuck. In here. With you all. Until they fix the fucking power.” Once again Lyf finds themselves so very thankful that with the power out the cameras won’t be able to record them swearing. Getting reamed out for swearing at the prisoners by their boss isn’t the most appealing of ideas. “So yeah. I’m going to swear and you can’t stop me.”

“I didn’t even realize you knew what swear words were,” Alexandria chimes in.

“I hope you know that there are not words capable of describing the sheer loathing that I hold within my heart for you at the present moment. Language cannot come close to describing how much I despise each of you.”

“Oh, cheer up Inspector! I’m sure the time will pass by quickly.” Oh no. Lyf has a bad feeling about this. They have a very bad feeling. “To help pass the time, why don’t we sing a few songs!” Oh no. Oh no. la Cognizi and Alexandria perk up at that, too. They pull out their instruments. There are no words for the dread Lyf feels.

“Please don’t.”

“Ah, but Inspector- Like whiskey laced with gasoline-“

“Please stop.” The Mechanisms do not stop, because they cannot hear Lyf over the sound of the concert that they just decided to give. Lyf did not care to hear the story of someone named Ulysses dying at dawn. Although, they did appreciate the fact that it did answer the question that he came into the cell to seek the answer for. Apparently, there are other Mechanisms. Another, surprisingly nice thing about the impromptu concert that was forced upon them was that it served as a decent distraction from how the cell was steadily growing colder and colder as time went on. The prison had always been a bit chilly in the winter, even with the heat on, and now it was starting to border on uncomfortably cold.

“You look positively chilled, Inspector.” von Fucking Raum.

“I’m fine, von Raum.” They then proceed to start shivering from their very dignified position of curling in on themself, sitting on the floor, with their back against the door. “And how are you all?” Their voice is rather reluctant to escape their throat, and their words shake together just as their teeth do. It is, altogether, an incredibly unpleasant situation to be in, especially given as how the door is aiding the chill in leaking into their back.

“There’s a 99.999% chance that you’re lying, Inspector.” Alexandria just has to chime in with very accurate percentages. Of course. And of course she isn’t shivering from her spot in the impromptu cuddle pile the prisoners created. Of course. “You can come over here and try and keep your body temperature up.” Lyf firmly ignores that, both because of their distaste for the prisoners and also their distaste for the idea of potentially making them uncomfortable, given that they are prisoners and Lyf is an officer of the law, even though their focus is transportation and nothing else.

“Well,” Lyf chatters, “This is the 0.001% where I’m not lying.” While leaning against the door was comfortable, the fact that it leached away their body heat wasn’t. They would shift but doing so would be admitting that they were lying, and that is not something that they are willing to do around the prisoners. So, they keep sitting and trying not to shake and feeling the warmth escape their body and starting to drowse and then there is screaming and fear and then they are waking up and then they’re on the ground away from the door surrounded. It’s warm, and they shove their face into the shoulder of one of the people next to them, letting out a soft hum.

“I thought you said you weren’t lying.” la Cognizi, Lyf thinks. They proceed to stop thinking that, because they are warm, and there is a comfortable weight across their body, and they are not cold any more. “Your face is in my shoulder.” She huffs. Lyf’s brain is barely able to process that. They feel calm and tired and safe. It’s nice. They let out another content hum. It’s nice. They feel nice. “Is this normal, Marius? You’re the doctor.”

“Just because I’m a doctor doesn’t mean I know how people respond to hypothermia.” von Raum? The voice is coming from the comfortable weight across their body.

“Pretty sure a doctor should know that,” Lyf slurs into la Cognizi’s shoulder. “It’s one of those things you need for docting.”

“Ah, Inspector, you’re awake!” Lyf opens their eyes slowly, and when they remove their face from where it was ensconced in la Cognizi’s shoulder they find themselves staring directly into the face of von Raum. “And how are you this fine prison evening? Any loss of feeling in your limbs? Any loss of extremities? Any mood swings?” Lyf blinks slowly. They are very tired, and von Raum is still asking questions and they can’t get a word in edgewise, so they lean forward a bit and kiss von Raum lightly on the lips. “Inspector?” Lyf closes their eyes, turns their head this time towards Alexandria and curl in towards her. They slowly but surely drift off again into a light doze.

“There was a less than one percent chance of that happening.” They feel the humming vibrations of Alexandria’s voice more than hearing them.

“Can’t believe they kissed Marius first.” La Cognizi. She sounds put out, and she isn’t being annoying, and Lyf is comfortable. Lyf opens their eyes once more, very blearily, and kisses la Cognizi on the lips gently and then Alexandria so that she doesn’t feel left out. Then they proceed to go back to attempting to nap on their immortal space pirate pillows with their immortal space pirate blanket. There’s a tiny part of them that says that they’ll regret this later, this moment of letting their guard down and being soft like this. As it is, they are warm and drowsy and comfortable and there isn’t any of that infernal violin music playing, so they slip back to sleep.

The next time they wake up, the lights are still out, and the air is still cold. They are also still trapped within the Mechs cuddle pile. They are still warm and comfortable, and better yet they are now capable of snapping at von Raum if he tries any shit with that violin of his. Von Raum is asleep, as, or so it appears, are Alexandria and la Cognizi. Lyf doesn’t move. They don’t know how long any of the Mechanisms were awake the night before, and while they do dislike them, there was every chance that they would have died if not for their intervention, which is something that they have to have some small amount of respect for. As such, they stay still and let them sleep. They hope they didn’t make any of them uncomfortable, given the noticeable fact that Lyf is an officer of the New Midgard Transport Police and the Mechs are prisoners. Oh god they probably made them feel uncomfortable. Oh shit, they intruded on their cuddle pile and kissed all of them and-

Alexandria is no longer asleep, and her lips are on Lyf’s for a quick moment. “I calculated last night that there was an 87% chance you’d be an idiot when you woke up, Inspector.” Lyf stays quiet. “None of us minded.”

“Oh.” Ivy kisses them again. They very much don’t mind. They also think that they should probably start thinking of the Mechs by first names, since they have kissed them. Raphaella stirs next to them. They give Ivy another quick kiss.

“Good morning, Inspector.” Raphaella gives them a look.

“Alexandria started it.” Is it childish of Lyf to say that? Yes. Do they anyways? Yes. Raphaella leans in, and then Marius kisses Lyf because Marius is annoying and an asshole, albeit one that they did kiss. “Morning, von Raum.” Raphaella kisses them, and they kiss back.

“You’re blushing, Inspector Lyf.” Marius. Ever the asshole. Albeit, like the other Mechs, somewhat attractive, Lyf supposes. They kiss him again lightly to shut him up, before slowly working to untangle themselves.

“The power will probably be back on soon,” they offer as an explanation.

“Fair.”

By the time that they are untangled back over by the door, their prediction proved right, and the cameras and lights whir back to life.

“Inspector-“ Ivy calls out, “I feel like this was a productive conversation. Perhaps all future ones should also have the cameras off for them.” Lyf rolls their eyes.

“I’ll pass it on to my boss.” They leave the cell, tell their boss what they found out, pass on that the prisoners want the cameras off in future conversations. When they get back to their office, they can’t help but reach up and touch their lips for a moment. When they sit down, they feel a shifting in their pockets. There’s a piece of sheet music named after them. They sigh. There’s also a note that simply says: see you soon. They find themselves almost looking forward to it.


End file.
